There were many things that I liked about this book. I loved the characters – they all burst off the page, and I loved the character dynamics (especially those between our main character, Eve, and her family). It’s well-written and heavy in grief, as one would expect after reading the synopsis. The author does an amazing job of making the reader feel every emotion and every bit of grief that Eve feels. I felt like I was with Eve every step of the way, and I really did want her to be okay – I just didn’t know how or when that would happen.

We learn immediately that Eve’s husband Quentin committed suicide on New Year’s Eve, and she was the one to find him. To say the least – it was traumatizing, and to make matters worse, she has no idea why he did it. He didn’t leave a note. She thought he was perfectly happy, but obviously he wasn’t, and she’ll never know why. And this haunts her. Quentin was the one person who made her feel alive. As maddening as he could be sometimes, Eve loved him deeply – and now he’s gone. It doesn’t make sense. Had he had a terminal illness, or been killed in an accident at least she would have had a reason as to why it happened, but she is left with nothing – no answers and a whole hell of a lot of anger and sadness. Everyone tells her someday she’ll get better, but as the days pass, she wonders when – if ever – that someday will come.

Eve’s parents, sister and brother and her best friend are with her every step of the way. I loved this aspect of the book. They keep her afloat as best they can, and this creates another interesting dynamic in the book. Eve is understandably in the deepest of depressions, and not exactly a team player, so her family is left to try and deal with her affairs for her while she grieves, and it gets to be almost too much for even them. At one point, she disappears for several days telling no one where she went. She meant nothing by it – she just got some news that will alter her life even further, and needed to go somewhere to try and feel closer to Quentin while trying to sort it all out, but naturally her family is worried about her and they get angry with her, but how can you get and stay angry with someone who is grieving as Eve is?

Not only is Eve dealing with the loss of her husband, but she’s also dealing with his horrible mother, Aspen. Quentin was a white and upper class, hailing from a prominent family, while Eve is Black and middle class at best. Aspen (Quentin’s mother) is understandably, just as upset at the loss of her son, but she takes it out on Eve because she never wanted Eve and Quentin together in the first place. She feels Eve knows more than she is letting on and that maybe she is keeping something from her, so she hounds Eve for answers that Eve doesn’t have.

The entire novel is Eve dealing with her grief, shutting down and then slowly doing her best to work her way out of darkness while searching for answers. It’s heavy, but it’s a good read. I rooted for Eve the entire time and I wanted so badly for something to happen to her bitchy mother-in-law. We don’t “see” Aspen (the mother-in-law) often, but she makes herself known through emails and text messages and a few flashbacks and it’s enough to make you squirm anytime her name is mentioned.

I felt the author handled both Eve’s grief and the subject of suicide very well without it being too much and without sugar coating anything. Despite the heavy subject matter, I enjoyed this book. I felt it was very well written and while it didn’t end all tied up in a nice pretty bow, it didn’t need to. It ended the way it needed to.

I will warn anyone who has experienced losing a loved one because of suicide against reading this one simply because it is pretty heavy.