Swamp Story
By Dave Barry
Pulitzer Prize–winning and New York Times bestselling author—and actual Florida Man—Dave Barry returns with a “hilariously funny” (Steve Martin) caper full of oddballs and more twists and turns than a snake slithering away from a gator.
Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.
Meanwhile, Ken Bortle of Bortle Brothers Bait and Beer has hatched a scheme to lure tourists to his failing store by making viral videos of the “Everglades Melon Monster.” The Monster is, in fact, an unemployed alcoholic newspaperman named Phil wearing a Dora the Explorer costume head. Incredibly, this plan actually works, inspiring a horde of TikTokers to swarm into the swamp in search of the Monster at the same time villains are on the hunt for Jesse’s treasure. Amid this mayhem, a presidential hopeful arrives in the Everglades to start his campaign. Needless to say, it does not go as planned. In fact, nothing in this story goes as planned. This is, after all, Florida.
My thoughts:
This was one of the first books I got from my Aardvark subscription almost three years ago, and I’m honestly not sure why it took me this long to read it. It just kept getting bumped for whatever newer, shinier book showed up next. But I finally decided to tackle my backlog of subscription books, and summer felt like exactly the right season for this crazy story.
Jesse Braddock is stuck in a tiny cabin in the middle of the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a guy who has his looks and not much else going for him. To make him even more comical, his biggest aspiration is starring in a reality TV show that he and his best friend are working on. Jesse is broke, desperate, and out of options, until she stumbles across a stash of gold that could fix everything. The catch is that some genuinely dangerous men are also hunting for that same treasure, and they know she has it. Meanwhile, over at a failing bait and beer shop, a guy named Ken hatches a plan to save his business by faking viral sightings of something called the Everglades Melon Monster, which is really just an unemployed, drunk newspaperman wearing an oversized Dora the Explorer costume head. Somehow this scheme actually works, and soon a horde of TikTokers descends on the swamp looking for the monster at the exact same time the treasure hunters are closing in on Jesse. Toss in a presidential candidate who picks this exact moment to kick off his campaign in the Everglades, and you’ve got total chaos.
I had an absolute blast with this book, and I laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of it all more than a few times. The cast of characters is where this book really earns its stripes. Every single person in this story is some flavor of weirdo, and I mean that as the highest compliment. Nobody feels like filler. Everyone gets their moment to be ridiculous, and the ensemble as a whole is a total riot.
The plot itself is handled really well too. There are a lot of moving pieces here, Jesse’s treasure, the fake monster, the TikTok invasion, the political campaign, and somehow all of them merge together into one cohesive, escalating caper. It has this fun, throwback energy to it, almost like something straight out of the eighties. While I was reading, I kept thinking about the movie Masterminds, the one with a cast of kind of dumb, kind of bumbling characters who accidentally end up in way over their heads. That’s the exact vibe here. Nobody in this book is a criminal mastermind, and that’s part of the charm. Watching everyone stumble their way toward chaos is genuinely fun to read.
Pacing wise, this book moves fast and never really slows down. Once all the different plot threads start converging, the momentum just keeps building, and I found myself wanting to know how everyone’s storyline was going to collide.
If you’re in the mood for a cast of unforgettable oddballs, a story that refuses to take itself seriously, and a caper that somehow ties a fake swamp monster, a treasure hunt, and a presidential campaign into one satisfying mess, this is exactly what you’re looking for. It’s silly, it’s fast, and it’s a genuinely fun summer read.
