We All Want Impossible Things by Catherine Newman
Who knows you better than your best friend? Who knows your secrets, your fears, your desires, your strange imperfect self?
Edi and Ash have been best friends for over forty years. Since childhood they have seen each other through life’s milestones: stealing vodka from their parents, the Madonna phase, REM concerts, unexpected wakes, marriages, infertility, children. As Ash notes, ‘Edi’s memory is like the back-up hard drive for mine.’
So when Edi is diagnosed with terminal cancer, Ash’s world reshapes around the rhythms of Edi’s care, from chipped ice and watermelon cubes to music therapy; from snack smuggling to impromptu excursions into the frozen winter night. Because life is about squeezing the joy out of every moment, about building a powerhouse of memories, about learning when to hold on, and when to let go.
Review:
I have a bit of a funny story about how/why I found and decided to read this book. I saw a meme on Instagram that claimed to have the “perfect book for your astrological sign,” and this was the book for Pisces. Since I’m always looking to diversify my reads and discover new books/authors that I’d either not heard of before or read before (in this case both were true), I decided to give it a go. I’m happy to say I did not regret this decision.
In this book, we meet lifelong friends Edi and Ash – two women who are now in their 40s and have always been there for each other. From childhood antics to raising their children to marital problems – there’s nothing these two haven’t supported one another through. When Edi receives a terminal cancer diagnosis, Ash is devastated, but rather than wallow in pity, she does what any best friend would do, and what Ash has always done – she sticks by Edi’s side. She takes her to treatment, she sits with her, she talks with her, she helps nurse her back to health, and when the doctors tell Edi there is nothing more they can do, Ash helps Edi pick a hospice facility and then vows to spend every day with her until she passes on.
While in hospice, we meet hot doctors that Ash can’t seem to stay away from, cute, young volunteers who play guitars and sing for patients and emotional support pets, and as Edi’s health begins to deteriorate, we watch Ash grapple with the fact that someday soon, she’s going to be without her best friend.
Not surprisingly the story is a sad one, but I was surprised by how many times I laughed out loud. Newman’s writing beautifully captures the essence of Edi and Ash’s friendship, vividly depicting their shared history and the deep connection they have forged over the years. The book clocks in at just over 200 pages, but despite being a short one, I felt like I had a great handle on the characters (including the supporting cast) and felt the deep bond between Edi and Ash. The way Newman brings their memories to life is both heartwarming and bittersweet, illustrating the power of friendship to sustain us through life’s most challenging moments.
As Ash becomes Edi’s caregiver, the true depth of their friendship is revealed as they navigate the highs and lows of Edi’s illness together. We get the idea that Edi was always the grounded one, and kept Ash tethered, so it was easy to see why Ash was so desperate to hold onto her friend for as long as she could. Ash’s unwavering support and dedication to Edi is both inspiring and uplifting. Through their shared experiences, Newman explores the complexities of love, loss, and the profound impact of friendship on our lives. As Edi and Ash grapple with the harsh reality of Edi’s illness, they learn to live in the present, finding joy in even the smallest of moments, and when it’s finally time to say goodbye, we get to witness Ash’s transformation into who she’ll be without her best friend.
This is a powerful and moving novel that had me laughing one moment and then wiping a stray tear from my cheek the next. Like Truvy says in “Steel Magnolias,” “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion,” and this book is a prime example of just that. Newman’s ability to capture the beauty and complexity of true friendship makes this a must-read for anyone with a bestie that they can’t imagine a life without. This is a story that is both heartbreaking and heartwarming, and one I recommend to those who like an equal amount of laughter and tears.
